he puts the penis in happiness.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
