What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
