i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
