I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
