Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
