Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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