have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
