look no pants
North Korea, Best Korea!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
