Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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