i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
