There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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