his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
