Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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