Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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