The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
