so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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