U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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