He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
