A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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