yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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