i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
