So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
