Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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