theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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