Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
