he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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