Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
