She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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