WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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