are you still at the devil's house?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
