Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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