You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
from now on my penis is your penis
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
