yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
