Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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