I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
pray to the hookup gods
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
