Jerry, you need to find god
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
