if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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