Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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