So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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