I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
