I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My bed smells like the plague
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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