i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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