Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
