Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
