Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
