it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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