THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
