worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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