I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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