Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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