i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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